I don’t know what to say except that having a child is like having a science fair project that won’t let you sleep.
This is the best way I can describe what it is like being a new father. Every diaper change, every feeding (on each breast), every bit of sleep is catalogued and recorded in order to get some idea as to what this tiny skin golem is up to. The desire to keep him as healthy and as happy as possible seems to be the event years of playing Animal Crossing has prepared my wife for.
Nothing prepared either of us for our new sleep schedule, however. While lying awake at night, filled with existential dread is not a new thing for me, the addition of a screaming baby is. Nights are the worst part of this whole ordeal. When you’re not ripped out of a dead sleep to jostle and sing, or change a dirty diaper, you’re lying awake, hollow-eyed wondering if it will be this way forever. I am told that it won’t. Although I know that he hasn’t even taken his final form yet, and I wonder what fresh hell awaits in the coming days, weeks, months…years? Did I just type “years”?
In truth, he doesn’t do much, but eat, sleep, cry, and look around, and if he has a meltdown, there are only a few boxes to tick before he settles again:
This is a deceptively simple list of needs, but it’s the never ending cycle that wears you down. By the time he dirties a diaper right after you put a fresh one on him, you begin to see that the gypsy’s prophecies were correct.
Fortunately for my wife and I, we have a close circle of friends and family that have been instrumental in helping us navigate these pirate waters. We’ve had meals made for us, late night babysitting sessions, and in a situation where everybody has an opinion, we have folks who are just willing to listen. We aren’t doing this alone. We have people. Some of you may recall a blog in which I described my desire, once and for all, toknow what this was going to be. Now I do, and it’s neither better nor worse than I thought. As hard as it is right now, I feel better for knowing. The waiting was killing me.
I am still finding nooks and crannies of time on which to work on scripts and animations, I have a few projects coming up that I will be sure to tell you about. Hopefully schedules will continue to get sorted the further along we go, and especially after the holidays, things should get back to some kind of normal. A normal that includes a pink, dour-faced little human. I love him.
I also have to mention that I have no interest in turning this blog into a catalogue of my parental misadventures. Those parental blogs are fine, but not for me. I just needed to get a few things off my chest and I appreciate you all indulging me.